Monday, 24 May 2010

Telemarketers. Gotta love 'em.

Got a phone call at dinner from a person trying to sell me a holiday anywhere in New Zealand or Australia for only $149.99! Whoop-de-do! I did enjoy playing with her over the phone. Here's our general conversation before I forget it:

Me: Hello?
Indian Lady: Hello. When were you last on holiday?
Me: Not long ago.
Indian Lady: And how much did that cost? $100 or $200?
Me: Yeah, about that.
Indian Lady: Well, I have a deal for you. A holiday in New Zealand or Australia for only $149.99
Me: Wow. That's so awesome! What do I have to do!
Indian Lady: How old are you?
Me: I'm sixteen.
Indian Lady: Oh...I'm afraid you're underage.
Me: Awww.
Indian Lady: Do you have parents there?
Me: Not here.
Indian Lady: Do you have any money?
Me: Yes! I have a piggy bank.
Indian Lady: A piggy bank. How much do you have in it?
Me: I have a $100 in five cent coins!
Indian Lady: But that's only a hundred, this deal is $149.99.
Me: Oh...
Indian Lady: But I'll give you a fifty dollar discount so it's only $99.99.
Me: Yay!
Indian Lady: You're underage. Do you have someone to go with?
Me: Yes! I have my cat -- Twinkles.
Indian Lady: Pardon? Your cat?
Me: Yes my cat! Twinkles.
Indian Lady: Where are your parents?
Me:, well they left me in this hospital. This is my private telephone.
Indian Lady: Hospital?
Me: Yeah, they keep saying I have a mental problem...stalking. I have a nurse though, she's nice.
Indian Lady: What is your name?
Me: The Owner.
Indian Lady: How do you spell that?
Me: Capital Letter 'T' then a small 'H' and 'E' then a gap then a capital 'O' then a little 'W' and an 'N' and an 'E' and a 'R'.
Indian Lady: I don't get it?
Me: I'm The Owner! I am omnipotent!
Indian Lady: **awkward silence for literally ages*. Well since you're underage I can't give you this special.
Me: Oh, okay.
Indian Lady: Thank you.
Me: Thank again soon, I don't have any friends.
Indian Lady: **even longer silence** Yes, we're friends. I'll be thinking about you.
Me: Bye!

Indian Lady hangs up. I chortle with happiness and go back to dinner. I am The Owner...I just owned her arse!

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Printing Museum

This post is dedicated to the Printing Museum we visited in Melbourne. Firstly, it was fantastic and if you're over there you must most definitely visit it. There were all sorts of presses for all sorts of people. I thought the star of the show had to be the Linotype machine. It was like a massive, sophisticated typewriter and musical instrument combined. I can't believe people were producing these over a hundred years ago. INSANE.

Linotype machine sorting letters after lead casting.

How it worked: the operator would type in a line of type. As soon as he put a letter into the keyboard there was a little "chink" as the machine released that letter and it slid down the letter slide into place. The machine then cast the line of type into lead which only takes a few seconds. Incredible! When the type is cast, the mold letters go onto a hanger of sorts that return the letters to the top where a tube winds and drops them off into their respective places. No manual sorting required! Video shows the sorting process. They would use these lines of type to compose the body text of a newspaper.

Ludd machine casting lead type for newspaper titles.

Ludd machine is another typecasting machine. This one is manual, as you have to compose the individual letters. It was mostly used for titles in newspapers because they could vary the size. The video shows the man taking my arranged letters in the bracket and putting it in. The molten lead is released and it only takes a few seconds to hear a thunk as my name comes out the tray.

Letter slide for want of a better term.

Typeface chart.

Linotype typeface cartridges. Just so you know, I'm not sure on that term either.

Linotype machine from the front.

Man arranging the type from the Linotype machine into the printing press.

Video shows man making the AGIdeas print of our names. It was so awesome.

Example of type arranged in press.

Retro boxes. I just liked how they looked.

They had loads of old typewriters. Even oriental typewriters!

Loose letters.

My name was made into lead type. I'll photograph them and post the pics another day. The museum was immensely useful and relevant to what I've learned at school. I understood what the gentlemen at the museum were talking about and how those old terms and conventions have relevance to type today.

Busy day

Today was fun...sailed the W{h}anganui River on a cardboard boat --- quite literally. Our team was the Fugitives. I will post pictures when I get them. Anyway, we capsized twice, but not because our boat was flawed but we were ganged up on by all the boys in their cardboard boats. The river was cold but the big issue is that the river is really dirty. Got a mouthful. Probably swallowed a dead cow or something. Nonetheless, it was awesome. We rock Samantha!

School is difficult, mostly because I find it hard to get the work done. I find illustration and typography the most challenging, this is because I'm not that strong in either. Here is the spread I handed in for illustration. It is for an article called "Girls Behaving Badly" which is about how violent females are becoming in todays society.

It isn't bad, but it could be improved. I intended to get it done before I went to AGIdeas. I had all the vector graphics done but couldn't be bothered laying it out. Of course, giving it that final polish took hours because I just couldn't achieve balance. Important Note to everyone! Getting the layout perfect can take longer then producing the elements, therefore get it done when you have the time. This also applies to essays etc.

My brain is fried. I'm terminating this post. Over and out.

Friday, 7 May 2010

I'm so lazy.

Kay, so I've been back from Australia nearly a week and I'm so damn lazy I can't be bothered doing anything. AGIdeas was wonderful! But it has just made me more confused about what to do. I've got to make a decision soon because mid-year is applying for hostels etc. and I don't want to miss out because I was disorganised.

But, all that aside, here are some pics from Melbourne. It's really a wonderful place. I found this cool tea shop called T2 which had really pretty products.

I so wanted to buy everything in that shop.

The city.

Cookies and cream iced coffee. It was tasty.

At the Central Mall. They built the whole place around this old building. A novel idea.

Just before we went into the ice bar. I was drinking a lychee martini. Unfortunately, we weren't able to take photos in the ice bar although my friend has promised to copy the ones he bought from the bar.
See mum! I wore my 21st key practically everywhere!

Flinders Street station early in the morning. We were off to see the dawn service for ANZAC Day.

These are amazing veterans. We asked for their photos and they were very happy for us to take some. The man in the middle is 95 years old and the guy on the right is 93! Pretty amazing.
There were so any beautiful cars on display.

I want this one!
Awesome graffiti art in China Town.
Buttermilk crepes wrapped around delicious pears with cinnamon. I nearly died and went to heaven they were sooooo good.

Stef had Eggs Benedict. They looked nice...but not as nice as mine!

Went to a genuine Belgium chocolate cafe called Choklait. I had a chocolate afagato. It was beautiful but by half way I found it a bit too rich. Gosh it was good.

On the first day lunch was provided by AGIdeas. It was presented really well in a card board lunch box. Inside the box, everything was nicely wrapped up. The food was smoked salmon with onion and anchovies with a potato salad and blanched beans. It was so incredibly mouth-watering.

At the Museum of printing. I got my name cast in lead type. I will do a separate post for the printing museum cuz I have a few videos.

Me "looking" intelligent at AGIdeas.

 We had dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. I had a pork dish. This looks well presented and delicious, but when I bit into the meat it was all fat. I was quite irritated and it made me feel kinda sick. I don't want that again. On the other hand, I also ordered an Avocado smoothie---holy moly! It was good.

Went to a bar called E-Fifty-5. It had a whole Rastafarian vibe going on.

I just liked this wall. It was in the subway or something.

Well, that's about all for now.